How do you deal with weeds (or issues)? In the world of psychotherapy, there are multiple modalities that therapists use. Everything from Freud’s psychoanalysis to Carl Roger’s person-centered psychology. Throw in some existential masters like Irvin Yalom and the occasional somatic or trauma-informed practice, and you will find yourself pretty well rounded. None of this typically matters to the client, though. They don’t often filter their search on Psychology Today for specific modalities. They just want to find someone they connect with and, even more important, they want to feel better.
A lot of times, when you first see a client, they are looking for coping mechanisms. They want to reduce the bad feelings and learn how to deal with them in a more positive, healthy, and proactive way. Many therapists who practice Brief Solution-Focused Therapy are perfect for just that. The issue I often see and hear about, though, is that they simply taught the client to mow the lawn. Let me explain.
If you think of each issue you are carrying as a weed, then it’s easy to see that there are multiple ways to take care of them. I think of coping mechanisms as lawn mowers (or weed whackers if the metaphor makes you feel better). When you have anxiety about a specific behavior, struggle with irritability, get frustrated with your mom or your sister, or any other “weed”, you can quickly chop that weed down with a lawn mower. Relief is important and achievable and regular “lawn maintenance” is nothing to shake a stick at.
Using Tools: Trimming the Weed
If you are anxious about driving, it is helpful to learn some breathing techniques, journal about your anxiety, and even name your anxiety by saying it out loud. “The car is not going to explode when I turn it on, that’s my anxiety. That thought is irrational.” These tools are just that: tools. Lawn mowers. Weed whackers. It is very important to have these tools in your shed and ready for use when something comes up. But what if, instead of chopping down those weeds, you could pull them out by the root.
Pulling the Weed
When we use psychotherapy to dig into why and how these feelings, behaviors, and reactions started, we do more than just trim the weed. We rip it out. Uncovering the cause and processing through the origins of feelings and behaviors can reduce, and sometimes eliminate them altogether.
Of course this is through long, and often difficult and painful, sessions that are focused on these specific issues, but they can be truly life changing. This is not a fix-all, and it is important to remember how useful and imperative the previously mentioned tools are for day to day use. Sometimes, though, maybe during the spring, it’s nice to get a fresh start and a new perspective, by ripping out those weeds at the root.
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