For a long time, the difficulty of making friends outside of work and school was the hard thing. After all, most of the hard work is done when you are already placed in the same environment with people who are likely also looking to make friends. Now, with smartphones, social media, and online gaming (to name a few), it’s harder than ever at all ages to find and build a connection.
We have become increasingly uncomfortable placing ourselves in situations where we have to talk to strangers. This is never a fun task to mentally prepare for, but it’s made worse when our social skills are being diminished. This is typically a problem you deal with during life transitions. Sometimes it’s moving to a new place. Other times, it’s retirement or starting a new job. These days, even attempting to make a connection during a college orientation is difficult because everyone is on their phones. After all, it’s much more comfortable within those walls.
Using the enemy (phones and apps) to make friends IRL
So, what’s the answer? How do you get out there and make new friends? Well, you’re not going to like it, but you have to push yourself into the uncomfortable. Lean into the awkward. There are so many apps and sites out there that are built specifically for this connection type. One of my favorites is MeetUp. You have to really sort through the online meetings, but once you do, there are plenty of in-person hangs with general themes. There are also very niche groups, whether that’s some TTRPGs or woodworking or pickleball. Another option is BumbleBFF. The same dating app has a friend finding feature. This is difficult to navigate and has very mixed reviews, so use caution.
Either way, it falls to you to take the leap and try something new and ultimately uncomfortable. If you’re waiting for some organic connection with someone that is just going to approach you, assume your interests and personality, and be an instant connection… Well, I’m not going to say it can’t happen, but you’re leaving a lot of your autonomy and accountability out of the equation.
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